not so typical after all

people are not always what you think they are.
there are things that you won’t be able to foretell about them
just because they look like “this” or like “that”.

it’s not everyday that you will get struck by something that will
make you limp on the knees. but when it does strike, you’ll just be surprised that
the ones you see as bad or unpleasing are the ones who will lend help
just because they know you need it.

so in times when your cynic self attacks, make sure to evaluate what is running
in your head.

wALa nAmAn….

nde ito masama, at all…
human nature narin ito eh!!
pero tulad ng lahat ng bagay, kapag sumobra dun nagiging masama….
nde lang para sa sarili kundi para narin sa iba….

may mga taong ang taas mag expect..
di ko sila ma gets kung bakit grabe sila mag expect,
e nde rin naman nila nakukuha yung ineexpect nila…
isa ako sa kanila…dati…

pero na realize ko, nung minsan akong nadisappoint sa isang taong sobrang pinag-eexpectant ko nang malaki, na masama rin na nag eexpect ka sa isang tao nang mga bagay-bagay…

nde dapat mag expect na magiging katulad mo sya o magagawa nya ang mga bagay na nagagawa mo…mag-kaibang tao kau at nde sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay magtutugma ang kunga anong meron ka at kung anong meron sa kanya…

dati nde ko naiitindihan kung bakit ganito ang pananaw ng taong pinag-eexpectan mo…

sa kabilang banda, ngayon yan ang drama ko…ewan..ang hirap sumabay sa mga taong mataas ang expectation sa lahat ng bagay…kahit gusto mo isatisfya sila may mga bagay ka parin na nde magawa…kaya naman ayan nalulugmok ka sa kahihiyan dahil sa mga kakulangan mo…wala ka nang magawa kundi umiyak sa isang sulok at itago ang nararamdaman mo…

ang saklap…

kumbaga sa, may mga taong nde marunong umappreciate at may mga taong nde marunong magpa-appreciate…gets???

eto lang…

    * tigilan ang ugaling pag asa…kasi both ways naman masakit…(e bakit ba nating gugustuhing masaktan ang sarili natin pati ang tao sa paligid natin…)

    * bawasan ang mga paghahanap sa wala, ang pag-asa sa nde mo naman makukuha at ang pag-iintay sa nde naman darating…

walang tao ang gustong masaktan, kaya wag natin saktan ang sarili natin sa SOBRANG pagexpect para nde rin natin masaktan ang ibang taong nde laging kayang isatisfy ang expectations natin….

untitled i

here i am…
i’ve come back, from the depths of the anxiety existing inside of me….
if you want to share the pain, be my guest….
but if you don’t want to witness the ache, i won’t force you in anyway..
it has been a while
since the last time
that i felt these tears falling..
since the last time
that i felt my heart aching..
since the last time
that i almost hurt myself..
this pain just won’t end
it always hunt me
its always with me.
the wounds keeps on bleeding
i don’t know how to stop it.
there is chaos in my mind
a lot of things i have to deal about.
i don’t know what to do
i don’t know where to go
i don’t know who to trust
i don’t know when to fight
can anybody end this pain?
can anybody take me away from here?
could it be possible to find bliss?
this wretched state i’m on
i feel so alone
keep trying to hold on
but something’s pulling me off
help me go through this
hold my hand would you please?
please do…

ありがとうね。。 ^^,

 In life we are blessed of so many things that some of them ends up being unnoticed.

God gives us everything that we deserve, from the air that we breathe up to the digestion of food in our stomach. He makes it all possible. So we should be thankful to him for all these things.

These blessing are much like our friends. They are the people whom we hang out with, whom we share our lame jokes with, whom we laugh with, cry with, sometimes sleep with, and basically depend on.

Isn’t it a very wonderful blessing to know that these people, the people you call “friends”, remains with you even after a cat fight or a very very long time apart?

Last night, I bumped in with my long lost friend. Her name is Kathleen. She’s an old friend way back in high school (we were sophomores then). We haven’t seen each other for quite a while. We lost contact since we proceed to our junior years in high school.

That moment at the bus terminal was somehow awkward and yet exciting. I felt like somewhat confuse and afraid to talk to her. But as the “his” and “hellos” commenced, so is the telling of stories. Standign in line, waiting for a bus to arrive, we were both like an uncivilized individuals being strucked with the modernization of time.

At that instance, it came over me the times when were still in school. Those were the times that relly made me happy.

Then it was time to part ways, (we both still need to go home, it was late already) the “i miss you’s” came out from both of us. It was somehow dramatic. It felt like we both longed for each other’s company.

Bottom line is, that event really made me happy also miss her even more. And that I thank God for giving me that chance to get together with her.

God has been so good to me, and He continues to be. It is evident in what just happened to me last night. Thank you God.

P.S.
* This goes out to all of my friends, salamat sa inyo at sa ating mga pinagsamahan…

” sa lahat ng kulitan at asaran,
sa bawat tawanan at iyakan,
sa sayawan hanggang sa kantahan,
sa pagtakip sa kasalanan at bukingan,
sa kasenglotan at yabangan,
diko matandaan, nasabi ko na bang..
kaibigan, SALAMAT.”

DEGZ, ANDREA & KATE ANN: how i miss hanging out with you guys!!!! i miss elementary because of you…

KATHLEEN & ELA: my first barkada in highschool…i miss the girly stuffs we used to share…the dramatic talks…hanging out at ela’s house…talking about our crushes…..and all that!!!

ACEL, FAE & BHEV: my best friends…more likely my sisters…i would like thank you for standing by me through my worst time, since high school and until now…thank you for the drama, the laughter, the sleepless nights, the witty advices, the criticisms. thanks for staying wih me. i miss you guys!!!

3 - COLERIDGE: the best section i’ve ever been in to…everyone is practically my friend….i miss the jammin’, the jokes, EVERYTHING about us!!!! thanks for being part of my junior year in liceo.

JAYDEE: ang panget ko (ay! double meaning)…one of my best friends…i know we don’t get along much…you’re at school i’m at work…i appreciate the friendship, i know it’s just there…

B1: the twin of my soul…the bearer of my secrets…the source of my strength….thank you sooooo much for being the ultimate friend to me…you are just about everything….

APRIL, SANCHE, JAZZIE, MITCH: thnaks for giving color to my college days…i may have not spend enough time to get to know you guys well but i’m glad i was able to know you…thanks for everything you’ve done for me…and i’m sorry for my faults….

COE31: college would seem dull if it were not because of you….COE31 ROCKS!!!!

CHOLO, HAZEL, TOPHER: *sigh* laughing out loud in the hallway and in the classroom makes me miss senior years a lot…patronizing bob ong while making jokes of his writings, until now i still laugh at them at times when i remember them…thanks for lifting up my spirit with the things that i do…i miss you….

TROPANG Le’Caud: you know who you guys are…thanks for the happy times even if we’re placed at the back row of the class.